St Barnabas Church

Getting Married at St Barnabas

Christian Marriage is the joining together of man and woman in a life-long committed relationship. In coming to the Church for marriage, we ask God to work through the couple to bind them together as one flesh. Following is a brief guide to the details of marriage in the church, based on the most Frequently Asked Questions. If you have further questions, don't hesitate to contact us.

• How much notice is required?
• Do we need to be Anglican?
• When may a wedding be performed?
• What preparation is necessary?
• What is the purpose of preparation?
• What if one of us is divorced?
• What kind of music should we plan for?
• Do you have a photography policy?
• Do you have a confetti policy?
• What do we do next?

Advance Notice

The Canon Law of the Anglican Church of Canada requires a minimum of 60 days notice before the intended date of the marriage in order to allow for proper preparation. If either of you has been divorced, however, even more notice is required for the reasons outlined below.

Normally, people come to be married in the church because they are members of the church and wish the church to have a continuing place in their life together. In order to be married in the Anglican Church, at least one of the couple must be baptized in a Christian Church. It is not necessary to be officially "Anglican" but a Christian wedding is most meaningful for practising Christians.

Please note that weddings may not be performed in Holy Week or on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Weddings may be performed on Sundays, but only within the context of the regular Sunday Service.

Preparation

Ordinarily you will be expected to meet with the rector at least three times prior to the wedding: once to do the inevitable paperwork; once to discuss the Church's understanding of the sacramental nature of marriage; and once to plan the details of the service. In addition, to consider other aspects of the marriage relationship, you will be expected to take part in a formal Marriage Preparation Course outside the parish. There will also be a rehearsal the day before your wedding to walk through the service.

The Anglican Church of Canada expects its clergy to prepare each couple for their married life together. We believe that marriage is a serious business which should not be undertaken lightly. It would be irresponsible of us to encourage a casual approach to such a serious matter. The Marriage Preparation course is intended to help the couple explore their relationship, to provide tools to strengthen that relationship and to help prepare them for the challenges ahead. In planning a wedding, hours of thought go into the choice of a dress or invitations or a caterer. When you spend so much time preparing for a few hours of your life, doesn't it make sense to spend some time preparing for the next fifty years or more of life together?

If either or both of you are divorced, there is a further preparatory step which is the application for permission to remarry in the church. Most couples find this a helpful process, but it does take some extra time. Under normal circumstances six months notice is required and you should not expect to be married in less than three months after your submission is made.

Music

Music should be appropriate to a service of worship. (Popular music is more appropriate at the reception.) It is your responsibility to meet with the parish organist at least one month in advance to arrange your service music. You can make an appointment by calling the office or meet with her following the principal service on Sunday morning. Any use of the organ other than by the organist must be authorized by her. Final approval of music must be obtained from the officiating priest.

Flowers and Decorations

The decoration of the church with flowers, bows, and so on, must be done in consultation with the parish Altar Guild. It is your responsibility to speak at least one month in advance to the head of the Guild, or to her delegate. Please note that flowers placed on the Altar are put there to the glory of God and remain there after the service. Other flower arrangements placed in the church may be taken away if you wish, or left for the use of the church.

Photography

Photographs may be taken during the procession in and out of the church but not during the service itself. This applies to friends and to your official photographer. Video-taping is permitted from a fixed location and without additional lighting. Remember, your wedding is a service of worship. Pictures may be posed in the church after the service, and the officiating clergy will be happy to remain behind for this purpose.

Confetti

Out of respect for the environment, and the cleanliness of our building, we cannot permit the use of confetti in the building or on the grounds.

Fees

A complete list of fees is available from the office. All fees and contributions should be placed in separate envelopes, appropriately labeled, and given to the officiating priest at the rehearsal.

Timing

There are several people involved behind the scenes in your wedding, and they may have other commitments the same day. If your wedding runs behind schedule you risk losing your musicians or others. Therefore, in order to ensure that all goes smoothly, and out of respect for your guests, it is essential that you plan your day to arrive on schedule.

Special touches

Every wedding has elements that are unique to the couple's circumstances. This might take the form of inclusion of clergy from another denomination, use of languages other than English or French, or special cultural elements. In general, we will do our best to include elements that will make your wedding special, as long as they are not in direct contradiction with the Christian faith and can be worked in to the structure of an Anglican wedding. The officiating priest will be aware of theological, liturgical and canonical limitations, and will be guided by episcopal policy. Final approval of the entire liturgy must be given by the rector.

Next Steps

Now that you are ready to start planning your wedding, please contact the church. We suggest that you contact us as soon as possible, and before you finalize any contracts for reception or other services, so that we can be sure to be available on the desired date.